Pip’s aphorism for the day: ‘It’s all in the look’

by Evie WillWhittle

Dear Miz V.C.

It’s Pip here. You still haven’t responded to my messages about a meeting to discuss my future and the great time I’m going to have with the UWS ‘family’, and all the help I’m going to get (apart from my new ipad) to make my student experience top notch – after all that’s what you really care about isn’t it, the quality of my time spent with you? Anyway, the course advisor your office put me onto said that emails are usually replied to in 48hrs. The course advisor wasn’t really all that helpful. All he wanted to talk about was the structure of my degree and the kinds of things I’d be expected to do for class. He wasn’t very ‘UWS family’ oriented at all, in fact I don’t think he cared about my special qualities and he wasn’t a bit interested in hearing about my stuntsmanship and my bike.

I’m a bit concerned that you’re putting the ‘student experience’ at risk by not replying to my messages, and you are the ‘big momma’ of the house here, aren’t you? (does this make Rhonda and Kerri-Lee my Aunties (lol)). Pity Uncle Wayne’s gone. Perhaps I’d of had better luck with him in a ‘man to man’ kind of way, although I have to say I seem to get on better with the women in my family – my mum has always understood my needs better than my dad (who’s still pouty, by the way). This week he’s banging on about UWS and ICAC (something to do with allegations of bribes and an outsourcing of security work? He read some stuff in the newspaper. http://www.theaustralian.com.au/higher-education/uws-caught-up-in-corruption-scandal/story-e6frgcjx-1226408110036

What’s that all about? It wasn’t in Around UWS or anything. Should it have been?).

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about all your helpers (like the course advisors, unit co-ordinators and the deans). They’re a bit hard to see. I think that they should wear some kind of funky uniform and name badges so that we can spot them in the crowd and make a bee-line for them (was it my imagination or did my helper seem to want to disappear a bit too quickly and before I’d finished telling him about my expectations??).

My sister Sophie is a bit of a fashion tragic. She says that faux military is the way to go. It never goes out of style, so you could try it as a kind of cool uniform. But Soph reckons you have to undercut the official ‘look’  for it to have real cred. Perhaps you could experiment with some ‘pre-ripped’ denim, or if you’re thinking ‘perky’ and you’re into the retro punk scene, it could be done with the hint of a Mohawk in the hair department.

My personal feeling is that I’m staying with the biker thing. I have this really really cool Italian studded leather jacket and steel-caped boots  – just the thing if you fall off during stunt practice. Maybe you’d prefer this look for your team? Auntie Rhon is a shoe-in, it’s that defiant little tilt of the chin that does it every time, I reckon. On the other hand, I reckon we’d have to work a bit on Auntie Kez.

By the way, my mate Dave is a tattoo Artiste with a capital ‘A’ (you know, he dropped out of visual design because he couldn’t pursue his ‘thing’. Perhaps you should think about this for the next restructure? I reckon you’d pull them in like netted fish with tattooing – the money’s great if you survive the apprenticeship), and I reckon he’d be willing to do something with the UWS logo ‘Bringing Knowledge to Life’. Not that it wouldn’t make a brilliant tatt, it’s just that it needs a bit of work to bring out its inner self, if you know what I mean. The wording is ok, but I reckon Dave should add a little runnel of blood underneath that Kung Fu dart (funny, some people seem to think that it’s an open book or some kind of bird?). This addition would work really well as a reference to the tatt thing, you know, piercing the skin and stuff. It might suggest that UWS is a body capable of feeling pain and by extension empathizing with the pain of others. Or if you think this is going a bit in the wrong direction (suggesting mortality and humanity, I mean), perhaps Dave could turn the Kung Fu dart into a reference to a subcutaneous drip, maybe by adding the suggestion of some tubes and a bag of blood or the like? That would really reinforce the ‘bringing knowledge to life’ bit. There’s nothing like a good infusion (if you get what I mean, wink, wink…).

It all goes to show, as my mum says, the pen is mightier than the sword (actually I’m not sure what this means? Perhaps you could explain it to me when we meet? It might be important for my future as a philosopher.).

Yours sincerely,

Pip

Ps. Don’t forget to tell me what you think about the tatts. I reckon Dave would do it for ‘mates rates’.

Pps. What do you think of the ‘Western Sydney Outlauws’? I reckon Hells Angels eat your hearts out!

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