(From Evie Willwhittle)

Dear Mrs (or Miz?) Vice Chancellor,

My mum said it would be a good idea to write and thank you for the free ipad. I wasn’t thinking of coming to uni but Santa didn’t come through this year (I suppose twenty-two is a bit old), and, anyways, mum said I shouldn’t sell myself short, even after my HSC. Dad’s a bit pissed off though. Every time he sees my letter from you he mutters something about ‘dancing poodles’ and ‘a fat chance of me leaving my well-feathered nest’ (I guess he means home?), or some really weird stuff about ‘not being able to eat poisoned apples’? And ‘free lunches turning into hefty pre-mortgages’, whatever that means? Mum says don’t be fooled, a good education’s the thing in getting ahead of the race.

I missed your Course Decision Day last week. I couldn’t decide if it was worth going to – I’m kind of sorry now as I might have missed out on some other cool give-aways (are there any spares?).

Anyway, I think I’ve settled on being a philosopher. I really wanted to be a professional stunt man like the guys on ‘Mythbusters’, but you don’t run courses on this, I checked. Perhaps you should. Most of my mates, even those who’ve already got ipads, would sign on like a flash… The closest I could find was that solar car thing some of your  guys are working on. Running a car on a toaster is a bit of a hard think – but the cool fins and the promise of 100+kms per hour are right up my alley.

I’ve been racing and practicing stuntsmanship for a while now, and my mates reckon ‘Evel’ is my middle name. I’ve also heard that you’ve got cool car parking lots at your uni which will be great for when I ride my bike to class (it’s a CBR600RR with a slipper clutch) – I reckon I could put in some stunt jumping practice between things. 6 cars is my best jump yet, but I’m working on a target of 8. I could show you if you like. I’d even let you be part of it. What kind of car do you drive?

It ended up as a no brainer, but I’d rather drive the solar car than make it, so I guess I’ll have to settle for philosophy rather than solar engineering – on the upside, though, it might help me get some part-time work at that greek deli round the corner from where I live.

But that’s enough about me. What exactly do you do? Will you be my teacher? Or is it more of a student counseling gig? This last one would be good as I’m having a few problems with my girlfriend. Like my dad, she’s a bit pouty at the moment. She says she’s not too keen on all the learning stuff, and that it wont get me the best job (sour grapes, I say, just because she has a phd and works as a receptionist – money’s better than casual tutoring she says). I think she’s worried about all the hot chicks I’ll get to meet. What do you think?

Just in case you’re really really busy doing your vice chancelloring and you don’t get a chance to reply to me over weekend that’s ok, there’s plenty of time. If I don’t hear from you soon I’ll email you on monday so we can meet to a have a chat about my career and whether you’ve got any advice on the girlfriend front.

Last thing, I hate to ask as you’ve done so much for me already, but could you put a word in with those solar powered car guys? I reckon they could use an apprentice stunt man, and we could team up with my best mate ‘BJ’ (he’s coming to your uni too!), he’s been taking some great shots of the local drag races to upload onto youtube and facebook with his new ipad. Yep, I reckon we’ll leave that dancing ‘Pango’ guy on your uni transition site eating our dust!!!

Yours sincerely,


Ps. I’ll also email my mobile number in case you prefer to message me with a time to meet. I don’t usually give this out to people I don’t know, but I already feel like I’m part of the UWS family.

Pps. My sister Sophie says that if you want her to come to your uni next year could you make it an iphone? (her boyfriend promised her an ipad for her birthday and she wouldn’t know what to do with two)